The Hard Part:

The journey to Pattaya constitutes a significant challenge, individuals departing from North America are facing a transit time of 20-30 hours. European / UK travelers are looking at 10-12 hours in the air. Along with the extended travel duration, there's the added hurdle of dealing with the Jet Lag upon arrival. Drink lots of water during the flight, get up and move around every few hours and consider purchasing a set of compression socks (they save lives).

Most travelers arrive via Bangkok Suvarnabhumi Airport (BKK), positioned approximately 2 hours away from central Pattaya. BKK stands as a major international airport, managing over 800 flights daily.

Flight Matrix by Google is a great tool for finding the best flights. We recommend sorting your flight options by length of duration, layover time and carrier. Qatar, Emirates, Singapore, Eva, Thai Airways, Asiana and Philippine Airlines have been solid as of late.

The efficiency inside BKK Airport is nothing less than amazing (usually). It's pretty rare to wait longer than ten minutes to pass through customs. Your checked baggage is usually spinning around the carousel by the time you reach the baggage area. There are also plenty of airport employees floating around who are available to answer questions and point you in the correct directions - all of whom speak English.

When it comes time to depart (on the flight of tears) you should try to arrive at BKK at least two hours before departure, especially during high season (Dec, Jan, Feb, Mar).

Pro Tip: Always try to select your own seat before checking in for your flight. Look for seats with an adjacent vacant middle seat. You might get lucky and have that seat remain vacant during your flight and enjoy some extra space.

Given that many of today's wide-body aircraft accommodate over 300 passengers, positioning yourself towards the front of the aircraft and ahead of the crowd can also make a substantial difference during layovers and arrival. Being among the first groups to disembark provides a valuable head start. Seize this advantage to streamline your journey and minimize potential delays.

Getting from the airport to Pattaya

Upon arrival there are several options for completing your journey to Pattaya. Direct bus service via RRC Bus Company which offers direct service from the lower level of the airport directly to the station in Jomtien Beach. The cost is 160 baht each way and busses depart hourly from 7:00am until 10:00pm. Their ticket counter is located on level 1 at GATE 8.

Taxi drivers who are located at a stand directly outside of arrivals hall (negotiate your price before accepting the ride). You should pay between 1200 - 1300 Baht including tolls.

The best method is to use PIM's service. PIM's Pattaya Taxi Simply contact her via WhatsApp with your date/time of arrival and flight information. She will have a private driver waiting for you when you arrive. Cost is 1000 Baht plus tolls.

Tricks for reducing the effects of Jet Lag.

• Stay hydrated during the flight.

• Upon arrival try to stay awake until at least 9:00 pm local time on your first night.

• Resist the urge to sleep during the day, no naps

• Put electronics/phones in sleep mode at night

Speaking Thai

Most of the Thai’s living and working in Pattaya speak at least some English. Quite a few speak English fluently. Even if they don’t speak English, they will patiently try to work out a translation with you. Communication is not an issue in Thailand, next to the Philippines it’s our easiest destinations to navigate.

Without question, the two words you’ll hear the most often on a trip to Thailand are "khap" and " kha". Depending on the gender of the speaker (men say khrap; women say kha), they are added to the end of a statement to indicate respect.

Khrap and kha are also used standalone to indicate agreement, comprehension, or acknowledgement. For instance, if you tell a Thai woman thank you, she may reply with an enthusiastic “khaaaa.” At the end of a transaction, a man may say "khrap!" indicating both thanks and that "we are done here."

• Khrap (sounds like “Kop”): Male speakers say khap sharply with a high tone for emphasis. Yes, it inconveniently sounds like “crap!” — although, most of the time the r is omitted in Thai, making khrap! sound more like kap!

• Kha (sounds like “khaaa”): Women say kha with a drawn-out, falling tone. It can also be a high tone for emphasis.

The default way to say hello in Thai is with a friendly sawasdee khrap (if you are male) or sawasdee kha (if you are female).

• Hello: sawasdee [krap / kha] (sounds like “sah-wah-dee kop / kah”)

• How are you?:sabai dee mai (sounds like “sah-bye-dee my?”)

Unlike when saying hello in Malaysia and Indonesia, the time of day does not matter when greeting people in Thai. Honorifics don't affect the greeting, either. You can use sawasdee for people both older and younger than yourself. Sawasdee can even for “goodbye” if you choose.

Saying hello in Thai is often accompanied with a wai — the famous, prayer-like gesture with palms together and head slightly bowed. Unless you’re a monk or the King of Thailand, not returning someone’s respectful wai is impolite. Even if you aren't sure of the exact technique, simply put your palms together (fingers pointing toward your chin) in front of the chest to show acknowledgement.

If one phrase sums up the essence of Thailand, it’s mai pen rai. Remember the catchy hakuna matata song and attitude from Disney’s The Lion King movie? Well, mai pen rai is the Thai equivalent. Just as the Swahili phrase, it also loosely means “no worries” or “no problem.”

Mai pen rai can be used as “you’re welcome” if someone tells you thanks.

Mao - you’ll hear this term at the bars. “Me, mao last night” translation, I got drunk last night.

Ting Tong - crazy

How do you pronounce "Pattaya" seems simple but there are a few variations floating around. Play the video below and learn how to pronounce it the Thai way.

How to pronounce “Pattaya” like a local. Just play the song below.

Logistics

Apps that you should install on your phone.

Line Messaging App communication with the girls (some will have WhatsApp also but ALL of them have Line)

BOLT - transportation

GRAB - food delivery

Signal - for posting your adventures in our Asia Group Chat

Google Maps - with our map list Google Maps Directory . Download and install all four before leaving for the airport.

None of these apps work without having a data connection. I wish I had a dollar for every time someone has told me "I couldn't _____ because I didn't have a wifi connection"

Sim cards are cheap in Thailand. 1000 baht at the airport or 700 baht at a local 7/11. There are a bunch of carrier booths right in the arrivals area at BKK. Walk up, hand them a 1000 baht note, your phone, your passport and let them hook you up. In less than five minutes you'll be rolling with high speed data. We recommend using True 5G for a carrier. They can install physical sims or E-Sim’s at the booths.

ATM’s and Exchange Booths

Unlike some of the countries we visit, Thailand operates exclusively on the Thai Baht. It is not advantageous to try and use US or other currency instead of the baht. Most individuals and small businesses won’t even accept it.

Almost every 7/11 has an ATM attached to it and there is a 7/11 on every corner in Pattaya. None of us have ever had an issue using these machines. Well, unless you consider accidentally leaving your card in the machine at 3:00am an issue. Believe it or not you can return to the attached 7/11 the next day, show the clerk your passport and in most cases you will get your card back! If the clerks don't have it, go back and look carefully around the machine. If another customer finds your card in the machine they will usually place it on the top of the machine. - Welcome to Thailand, things are different here.

Pro-tip: When withdrawing money, a pop up screen on the ATM will ask if you would like to use the machines conversion rate - select no. Selecting yes allows the machine to override the prime exchange rates and use a lower rate thus costing you more.

Currency exchange booths are located all throughout town and they have the exchange rates clearly posted. Bring your passport when exchanging money because in most cases they will need to make a copy of it. Note - the exchange booths will not accept torn or damaged bills. As always, try to avoid exchanging currency at the airport they have the worst exchange rates and the highest fees.

Credit and debit cards are widely used in Thailand as is electronic banking.

Driving in Thailand

Drivers must possess an international drivers license from an accredited agency ( AAA is a good one ). If you intend on driving a motorcycle or scooter while in Thailand you must also have a motorcycle endorsement on your international license. Seatbelts and helmets are also mandatory for drivers .

Be warned: Beach Road is heavily enforced during the day. Check points randomly pop up around town during the day and late in the evenings. Police can and do test for alcohol and narcotics without cause.

Driving in Thailand is relatively calm especially compared to Latin America. For those of you coming out of North America the act of driving on the left in a right hand driving seat can take some time to get used to.

We've had good luck with Expat Car Rent in Jomtien when renting Cars / Suv's / Trucks. Scooter rental shops are a dime a dozen and located everywhere. Just make sure you inspect the vehicle and take a video of it before driving off. This will give you some recourse if they try to pin existing damage on you.

Getting around town

The Baht Bus... They operate throughout out town but the most popular route is Second Road and Beach Road loop. Just 10 Baht per ride. To catch a ride just smile and wave at the driver, if they have room they will slowly pull over. When you get near your destination simply reach up and press the buzzer button on the roof. A bell will go off inside the cab letting the driver know to pull over. Pay the driver upon exiting the vehicle. Easy and affordable transportation. Note: long rides like from Jomtien into Pattaya will cost 20 Baht. - You can also charter an entire Baht bus if it is empty. Just tell the driver where you would like to go and they will often take you. Cost will be around 200 baht depending on the distance.

Pattaya Baht Bus Routes

Ride Share Apps - by and far the most useful travel innovation of the last decade, the ride apps. No more negotiations, lengthy explanations of where you are trying to go and when. These Apps have made life a lot easier for travelers world wide.

BOLT - this is the most popular Ride App in Thailand. You can arrange private cars, SUV's and motorcycle rides right from the App. Prices are all predetermined, no negotiating with the drivers

GRAB - primarily a food and market delivery App but you can also use it to arrange transportation.

Public Taxi's and Motorcycles can be found throughout town. Most of the taxis run without meters so you will need to negotiate the rate before excepting the ride. Typical rates average 150 baht for rides in and around town for a car, 75 baht for a motorcycle ride. Always be willing to get out of the car if a proper rate cannot be negotiated.

There are future plans to construct a monorail system in Pattaya along with a high speed train route from Pattaya to BKK and into Bangkok. This will be a game changer if the project actually comes to fruition.

The infamous Soi 6

Over 60 bars cluttered on a single Soi. There is nothing on this planet that can compare to Soi 6. Almost every bar on the soi has short time rooms available upstairs. The going rate used to be 1800 baht including the girl and the room. Now the rates are all over the place, depends on the venue and the girl.

Almost all of the bars on Soi 6 are formatted exactly the same. Girls are front trying to lure customers in, bar and seating on the main floor, short time rooms upstairs. For this reason we strongly suggest that you pick a girl, not a bar. Just walk down the Soi and if you meet a girl you are interested in, grab her hand and go into her bar. The first part (grab her hand) is important. A lot of the girls would rather stand out in the street than sit with a customer. Pattaya economics have changed, especially for the most attractive girls.

Warning: Some of the bars on Soi 6 now making it prohibitory expensive to bar-fine and take a girl off premises. Expect a minimum lady drink buy, 2,500 baht bar fine and another 5,000 for the girl. It’s your vacation…. just spend it wisely.

Try the Soi 6 challenge - we dare you! Video below

Pro tip: There are three things you MUST do while in Pattaya. 1. Visit the upstairs of Kink Go-Go in LK Metro 2. The Soi 6 Challenge. 3. Happy Hour at Tahitian Queen.

The second floor of KINK Go-Go in LK Metro features completely naked dancers who provide a very hands on experience with their customers.

Bars, Go-Go’s and Clubs in Pattaya

Determining the precise count of bars in Pattaya is challenging due to the city's lively nightlife scene, which features an array of bars, clubs, and entertainment venues. Fluctuations occur as new establishments open and others close over time. A reasonable estimate suggests that there are more than 3,800 bars across Pattaya, North Pattaya, Phratamnak Hill, Jomtien and Na Jomtien combined. Soi 6 boasts over 78 bars on that Soi alone.

Our favorite spots as of 5/1/2026

List of our favorite bars - based on member reviews.

• Tahitian Queen Go Go on Beach Road - Pattaya’s first Go-Go Bar! This is a must visit establishment during happy hour 1-5pm

• Ju Ju Club - Soi Buakhao - after 2am (freelancers)

• Kink Go Go - Lk Metro (go upstairs)

• Top Gun Go Go - LK Metro

• Viper Go Go in Jomtien Beach

• Joy Bar - Jomtien Beach

• Double D Beer Bar in Rompho Market Jomtien

• Black Angels on Soi 7 in the evenings

• Peachy Lily in LK Metro - be warned, this is a ladyboy bar but it is a lot of fun

• Billabong in LK Metro - cheap beer and great people watching!

• Nasty Bar - LK Metro

• Som Bar on Soi 5 Pratamnak - our neighborhood watering hole, no naughtiness just good conversation and one of the nicest bar owners (Som) in town.

Visiting every bar in Pattaya would be a formidable task. Our endeavor to conduct a Bar Crawl aimed at exploring eight different bars, enjoying one beer in each, spanned a three-day period. The challenge lies in getting sidetracked and being enticed into other establishments along the way. The most effective approach is to embark in a specific direction and allow oneself to deviate from the original plan at will. That, my friends, is the nature of how things unfold in Pattaya.

A recommended approach is to select one or two bars from our IMOL  Google Map list each night. Embark with the purpose of visiting these chosen establishments and enjoy the journey along the way. If you walk past a girl or establishment that seems interesting, stop and explore. In Pattaya, the emphasis lies not only on reaching a destination but on relishing the entire journey there and back.

Most of the bars in Pattaya have happy hour drink specials. VooDoo, Tahitian Queen and Billabong are notable standouts. It's good practice to take a moment and read the chalkboards and inside marketing materials when you walk into a bar. The staff isn't always going to inform you.

Some of the bars have frequent drink programs such as Black Angels, they offer a 20 drink card for 1,000 Baht which includes domestic beer and entry level booze. It works out to 50 baht a drink..

The epicenter of Pattaya and the most famous district in town used to be Walking Street. Be warned.. the dynamics on Walking Street have changed radically over the last five years. The South end of the street is now the prime destination for Indian guys. This is also why we strongly advise against staying at any of the hotels in South Pattaya. The Indian guys love to group together and they are not always receptive to guys from other nationalities. The Indian oriented clubs and go-gos are easily identified and avoided.

The novelty of visiting a Russian Go-Go bar is on the to-do list for many guys visiting Pattaya. The fantasy of finding of a tall blonde Russian girl to hang out with for the evening is just that, a fantasy. Most of these clubs are owned by Iranians and the girls are usually from Kazakhstan or some other fringe nation with dyed hair. Keep a close eye on your bar tab and don't say we didn't warn you.

All of that said, no trip can be complete without at least one late night romp to the western oriented clubs on Walking Street. Republic, Lucifer, Myst, 808 and iBar are our current favorites. 808 is a hip hop club. Note: These venues don't get warmed up until later in the evenings. Prime time is 1am - 4am…The clubs in Pattaya do not follow the same blueprint as typical clubs in other cities such as Miami, London, Berlin etc. The demographics of the guys in the club are much older, there is no “dress to impress” in fact none of the clubs even have a dress code, shorts and sandals are common.

You will find a good mix of people inside these clubs, all different age groups and nationalities. You will also find plenty of freelancers inside the clubs after 1am. Just look for any table with a group of girls sitting by themselves.

Pro Tip: Always tip the Security guys and waitresses. Handing 100 baht to the security guys as your looking for a table or after you’ve been seated will instantly reap rewards.

The Go-Go bars on Walking Street have some of the most beautiful girls in town. Having the hottest girls in town comes at a premium and that premium means paying those girls the highest wages and drink commissions in town. Quite frankly, the girls are making so much money in salary and lady drink commissions that they can be selective about accepting a bar fine. Don’t get discouraged if a girl declines your request, remember this is still a free market society… and that is a good thing.

As previously stated the Go-Go bars have the highest prices but they also have the hottest girls.The best time to visit is between 9pm and 11pm when the highest number of dancers are on the stages.

Russian Go-Go's.. Be cautious when dealing with the Go-Go Bars on Walking Street especially the Russian Go-Go's. They are the most expensive in town and they also have a bad reputation for pushing drinks and inflating the bar tabs. We have yet to hear of anyone having an "amazing" session with a Russian bar fine. "lots of money, waste of time" is the usual report. These places are dodgy as fuck and we recommend avoiding them.

Our favorite Go-Go's in Pattaya, at the moment. This list changes...

Kink - LK Metro (go up to the second floor!)

Viper - Jomtien Beach

Lady Love - LK Metro

Tahitian Queen - Beach Road ** Happy hour 1-4pm

Bar Fines and Lady Drinks

The price of lady drinks typically ranges from 180 baht to 275 baht, varying according to the type of establishment. Beer bars generally fall on the lower end of this spectrum, while the more upscale Go-Go establishments lean toward the higher range. Girls employed in these establishments operate under a lady drink quota stipulated by their employment contract, usually spanning a 10-day period. Meeting the quota ensures they receive their full salary for the duration, but failing to do so may result in a salary reduction. Exceeding the lady drink quota often comes with a bonus, and girls commonly earn a standard percentage, typically 25% , on each lady drink sold.

The average salary for a Go-Go dancer in Pattaya is 15-25k baht per 10 day contract. Add in the lady drinks and occasional bar fine and it's easy to understand why most of these girls are driving new scooters and rocking the newest iPhone.

The bar fine is a compensation to the bar owner for the potential loss of talent and lady drink revenue.

Pro-Tip: Never lie to a bar girl. Always be direct and honest about your personal life and your intentions. Admitting that you have a wife at home will not affect your ability to bar fine a girl here, lying to her about it definitely will.

Short Time vs Long Time

Long time bar fines average 3,000-5,000 baht, depending on the girl and the establishment. Short time bar fines cost averages 1,200 - 2,500 baht again depending on the girl and the establishment. Short time bar fines last an hour or two. Long time bar fines are for the entire evening. Never be embarrassed to ask either the girl or the Mamasan about pricing.

To grasp the nuances of Pattaya, it's essential to comprehend the factors influencing the pricing of short-time or long-time bar fines. The first lesson underscores that many bars provide dormitory-style accommodation for the working girls, featuring bunk beds, shared bathrooms, and a refrigerator. Don't be surprised if your long time bar fine is still cuddled up in your hotel room until late in the afternoon.

The second lesson emphasizes that most Pattaya bars open in the late afternoon, with girls typically commencing their shifts around 5 pm, or even later at Go-Go venues and late-night establishments.

Lastly, and perhaps most crucially, the girls interact with numerous patrons weekly, and as previously discussed, the town sees its share of individuals with personality issues, poor hygiene, or displaying a "Cheap Charlie" syndrome. Your initial interactions with a girl can impact the cost and duration of the bar fine. Therefore, it's strongly recommended to shower before heading out, wear a reliable deodorant, conduct yourself as a gentleman, purchase a couple of lady drinks, and be personable with the girls.

Pro Tip: Thai girls often leans towards personality, hygiene and politeness over appearance. Emphasizing the importance of being a “Gentleman” during your interactions.

Short time is just that, short time. You can either quickly take the girl to a local short time hotel, run her back to your hotel room or utilize one of the establishments s/t rooms. Keep in mind some establishments put a time limit on the S/T rooms of 45 minutes to an hour. Regardless, understand this is a limited time engagement and although the girls will be polite about it, there is a limit to how much time they will spend with you. That limit is usually around an hour. Always take a shower before and after.

Most of the bar girls in Pattaya actually seem to prefer the long time bar fine, especially if they like the customer (see the pro tip above). L/T bar fines usually turn into more of a date than a sexual encounter. At your option you can offer to take her out to dinner, visit one of the clubs on Walking Street or hang out at one of the live music venues in town. Another fun option is to ask her to show you her favorite spots in town. You might end up at cool Thai bar or eating some Issan food in one of the alleys. Either way you will have a great time. Most of the guys in our group eventually end up with L/T bar fines, some spanning days. If you decide to extend into a second day you will need to pay her bar fine again.

The allure of spending the night in a comfortable hotel with amenities like Wi-Fi, A/C, television, and a spacious bathroom is appealing to them. It's worth noting that it's typical for Thai girls to sleep until the early afternoon, as they generally enjoy their rest. However, rest assured that despite their late wake-up time, they are committed to ensuring their client is well taken care of. Additionally, it's not uncommon for them to engage in tidying up the room, such as folding clothes and ensuring the space is orderly, once they're awake. Thai girls also love to eat and eat often! The typical routine is usually: eat, sleep, boom boom, eat, sleep, boom boom repeat until its time to go home.

Stopping at the corner 7/11 on the way back to the hotel is always a good idea. It will give them the chance to buy some food, some beverages and any supplies they may need for the evening. Pick up the tab, it will pay dividends later.

Blow Job bars

Yes, they still exist. LaPoste located on Soi Lengkee directly across the street from the Vogue Hotel has booths on the main floor. Kong Bar and Click Bar both located at the top of Soi 6 near second road. Off the beaten path but worth the excursion is 007 Club, Club Sin and several adjacent establishments, all for them feature privacy booths. This little district sits all by itself on Bong Koch 8 which is a Soi off from 3rd road across from the Excite Complex. 5 minutes from LK Metro.

S&M Clubs

The Castle Gentleman’s Club located on third road across from the Vogue Hotel. Whips, hand cuffs, and lots of naughty toys. If that’s your thing, this is your place.

Late Night Bars

The "official" closing time for bars in Pattaya is constantly fluctuating. 12am, 1am, 2am, 3am, 4am …have all been in the official closing times in the last twelve months. The idea of going 24hrs has been floated by local officials but has yet to be officially approved. We are currently at 2am with some bars purchasing extensions until 3am.

That said, a blind eye is turned when it comes to select clubs on Walking Street and JuJu Club on Soi Buakhao. Epic Bar pictured below also seems to have the ability to operate well into the next day (We've walked out at 8:30am before...) FYI, it always looks closed, just go up and pull on the door to find out if its open or not.

Gentleman’s Clubs

There was a YouTube video circulating around last year talking about the increase of Membership Fees at Pattaya's Gentleman's Clubs. The video was quietly taken down after many of us loaded the comment section with the following - "Gentleman's Clubs do not charge membership fees, all of them are open to the general public."

Pattaya's Gentleman's Clubs are very similar to the local sports bar back in your home town. The difference being that your local sports bar probably doesn't offer short time rooms. Pattaya Gentleman's Club's are air-conditioned hang outs for guys. Complete with sports on the TV, girls to hang out with and usually a pool table. There is no dress code, cover charge or membership needed. You can walk into any of them in a pair of shorts, t-shirt and flip flops.

The naughtiest Gents Clubs in town right now are LaPoste and Kings Club. Most of the girls will be topless and some of them will be completely naked. Don't be surprised when you see the short time rooms at LaPoste. All of the S&M equipment is optional for use... Don’t look for any 8’s, 9’s or 10’s in these clubs, you won’t find them. What you will find are some overly enthusiastic 6’s and 7’s.

The best Gentleman’s clubs in town are located in Pratumnak and Jomtien Beach.

1. The Kinnaree

2. Seahorse Lounge

3. Kit Kat Club

4. The Passion

   • Maggie May’s Gentleman’s resort has been doing a lot of advertising lately, we don’t recommend it.

It needs to be noted that the levels of service, entertainment value and overall quality of these clubs fluctuates often. Certain clubs might be good one month and then horrible the next month. Staff, management and ownership change occur frequently in Pattaya. It is perfectly acceptable to walk in, take a look at the girls and walk back out if you're not feeling the vibe. Wash, rinse and repeat until you find the club that holds your attention.

Most of the Gentleman's clubs offer nicely outfitted short time rooms. You can also choose to bar fine a girl and take her off premises to your hotel for a longer engagement. Short time rates and bar fines vary by establishment.

Hotels in Pattaya

Pattaya, Thailand has over 1,800 registered hotel rooms, including luxury hotels, budget hotels, and resorts. 

All of these properties are member tested and approved. All are guest friendly.

• #1 Areca Lodge LK Metro district

• #2 Acqua Hotel LK Metro / Tree Town district

• #3 Intimate Hotel Pattaya LK Metro district

• #4 Globe Hotel Soi 7/8 district

• #5 Chada Thai House LK Metro district - great budget hotel

• #4 Flipper House Soi 7/8 district

• #5 Honey Boutique Soi Honey in between LK Metro and Tree Town

• #6 Queen Victoria Hotel located directly on Soi 6 - beware, its noisy!

• #7 Hilton Hotel

• #8 Hard Rock Hotel

• #9 Rizin Hotel - Pratamnak Soi 5

• #11 Tara Court Condos - Pratamnak Road and Soi 5. Huge rooms with full kitchens and daily room keeping. Long term rates available.

Pro Tip: Unless it’s high season, we recommend booking hotels for two to three days upon arrival. If you don't like the property just go online, pick a new one and move when your reservation expires.

AirBnb options include The Edge and The Base, both are new condominium projects located next door to each other in Central Pattaya. Most of the units are individually managed so it advisable to compare prices and reviews for each individual unit.

It goes without saying, protect yourself and your partner by using condoms and practicing safe sex. FYI, condoms in Asia are manufactured slightly smaller. You might want to bring your own supply from your home country.

Now we will say the quiet part out loud. A lot of the girls will not force you to use protection. We’re not saying that this is a good idea, we’re just saying that it won’t always be requested or required - especially for LT girls. Your personal appearance and hygiene play a big part here.

The next morning you wake up in a cold sweat, "what was I thinking last night..." you ask yourself. Relax, most of the girls (not all) get tested on a monthly basis as part of their employment. You are probably fine. But to be on the safe side you can pop into any of the clinics in town and get a same day STD test. It takes less than ten minutes and the results will be discreetly emailed to you that same afternoon. Lifecare Lab off of 3rd Road and Pulse Clinic on 2nd road (check our google map list) both offer this service

Ladyboys in Pattaya

Quite the taboo subject but we felt compelled to include it on our site. We have a created a separate page Ladyboys in Thailand which has more information on the subject than most of you probably want to know.

For those of you looking to avoid interaction with the third gender here are some tips on figuring out who is who.

1. Height - Thai girls are normally not tall. Their average height is 5ft 2in, and men are at least 4 inches taller. There may be exceptions to the rule, but if Thai a woman is over 5ft 6in she probably wasn’t born a woman.

2. Face structure - men’s faces have wider jawbone and squarer chins. Women’s faces are softer and more rounded.

3. Adams Apple - men have adam’s apples and women don’t. * Due to a surgical procedure which shaves down the size of the Adams Apple, this tell isn't as dependable as it used to be.

4. Breasts - most Thai women are fairly flat chested. If you see a girl with large implants there is a 50/50 chance that she is actually a he.

5. Body shape - the reverse hour glass. Most women have broad hips and narrow shoulders, guys have broad shoulders and narrow hips. Look at the shoulders.

6. Attitude - Thai women are usually quiet and somewhat reserved. Ladyboys on the other hand are loud, flamboyant and generally very aggressive when flirting.

7. The walk - Ladyboys walk with an overly exaggerated feminine motion.

8. Big hands and large feet.

9. The package - look for a bulge, they can only tuck so much

10. The easiest method - just ask, but do so very politely. Most ladyboys in Thailand will not lie about who they are.

The Lady Boys in Pattaya are actually quite well behaved. You can absolutely share a few drinks, shoot a game of pool, shake hands and part ways with a new friend. It’s not nearly as taboo as it once was. Some of the busiest bars in town are LB bars and not all of the guys in there are searching for companionship. Some of us who live here have learned that the LB bars are actually cheaper and less hassle for watching sporting events or hanging out with your buddies. The LB’s don’t hassle for drinks and are more respectful of your privacy than the bar girls. Delirious on Soi Pot Hole is a great example of this.

• We have a resident Lady Boy in our group named Tan. She offers tours and a concierge service to members coming into town. This is NOT an arrangement for extra services…. She is a lot of fun to hang out with and knows practically everyone in town.

Pro Tip: If you want to experience sex with a Lady Boy, bar fine one from one of the Lady Boy bars. The LB freelancers on Beach Road have been known to be problematic.

Massage Shops in Pattaya

Legit massage or happy ending massage, how do you know which shops do what?

The easiest method is to just look at the girls sitting out in front of the shop. Are they dressed in matching professional uniforms or are they wearing street clothes? Uniforms are “usually” only worn at the legit massage shops.

Soi Honey located between LK Metro and Tree Town has around a dozen massage parlors located on the Soi. They are open practically 24hrs a day and they are all essentially brothels pretending to be massage shops. Up Too You located at the top of the Soi next to VooDoo bar has a very good reputation for naughtiness.

Pro Tip: When enter the massage parlor (especially the non-legit shops) the girls will ask you if you would like to shower first. The answer is always a YES - even if you just took one. You will get much better service if the girls know you are freshly showed.

The cost of a legit massage is 300 baht plus tip. Add in an extra 1000 baht for full service at the naughty massage shops.

Soapy massage parlors are on steroids compared to the other shops in town. There are 100% brothels with a quick back rub thrown in. You can expect a nice sensual shower/bath and then an erotic massage. Prices depend on the venue and the girl you pick. There is a good one located on Soi Honey next to the Acqua Hotel.

Songkran Festival in Pattaya

What is Songkran? Songkran is Thailand's most famous festival. A very important event on the Buddhist calendar, this water festival marks the beginning of the traditional Thai New Year. The name Songkran comes from a Sanskrit word meaning 'passing' or 'approaching'.

It is celebrated every year on April 13th. Now although this is a Buddhist holiday it is also one of the biggest parties of the year. Traditionally this celebration spanned three full days, April 13 - 16. It now goes for seven full days in certain parts of Thailand ( honestly, it can get a tiresome towards the end of the week ).

Songkran - The Thai New Year is celebrated with the passing “throwing” of water. It is essentially the world’s largest squirt gun battle. Grown adults stalking each other with water cannons out on the public roads from sunrise to sunset. Its an absolutely amazing time - for the first few days…

In Pattaya the best areas for experiencing Songkran are the beer bars along Soi 7, Beach Road and Soi 6. That’s not to say that you can safely walk down 2nd road without getting soaked - you can’t. There are no safe zones in town, if you're walking around, in the back of a baht bus, on a motorcycle or in a car with the window down…. you will get soaked.

Officially Songkran is supposed to end on the 16th of April, last year Pattaya extended it until the 20th. The official rule of stopping at sunset went out the window also. They were throwing water until the wee hours of the morning in some parts of town.

There is segment of our expat population who absolutely detest Songkran, so much that they leave town during the holiday. Admittedly, getting soaked everyday can get a little tiresome, especially if you're trying to go out to dinner. That said, we still fucking love it!

• Book hotel rooms early if you plan on visiting during Sonkran

• Bring a 10 liter dry bag. Carry a change of clothes in it.

• Order your water cannon from Lazada and ship it directly to your hotel

• Dry bags, water cannons etc are also available from vendors in town.

• Remember, this is their holiday. Enjoy it with them or stay away during this time period.

Pattaya / Jomtien Rooftop Bars

Looking for something a little different during your stay in Pattaya? Try out one of the fantastic rooftop bars in Pattaya / Jomtien Beach. Not only do these venues provide an incredible view of Pattaya and the Gulf of Thailand, but they also provide a unique experience guaranteed to add a different vibe to your evening.

Dress code? This is Pattaya, you'll be fine rolling up in your flip flops, shorts and a nice t-shirt. Reservations? Probably not a bad idea especially if you're going during sunset. Locations - check out our Pattaya Google Maps the link on the top of the page.

- One note: be prepared for a little sticker shock when it comes to the drink, beer and food prices. Ballin' out on the roof ain't free and most of these venues charge a premium for the experience.

Our favorite rooftop bars in Pattaya:

Horizon: Located on the top floor of the Hilton Hotel at Central Festival on Beach Road. Great views, good food and an epic vibe including 1920's silent films projected up on the side of the building. This is the number one rooftop bar in town and worth a visit. Reservations recommended.

D.I.B Skybar: Located at the top of D Varee Jomtien Beach, Pattaya on 38th floor, D Varee Inspiration Bar or D.I.B. is the latest rooftop bar with style where guests can come and relax under the sparkling stars and charming panoramic scenery of Pattaya city. D.I.B. is operating itself as a trendy bar readily serving guests an assortment of tapas and a wide selection of beverages ranging from imported beers to exquisite list of wine and plenty carefully selected cocktails crafted especially for this exclusive bar.

Salt: located on top of the U Hotel Jomtien Beach this small rooftop bar and infinity pool has an incredible view of both the Na Jomtien and Pattaya skylines. Happy Hour from 5pm - 8 pm will help take the sting off those drink prices.

SkyBar @ Siam: Gravity Lounge on the 24th floor and SkyBar Summer club located on the roof 27th floor. Both of these venues are located at the Siam Design Hotel on Pattaya Sai 2 Road. As a bonus the SkyBar also features a killer infinity pool so bring your suit and a towel. Great drinks, excellent food and incredible service makes these venues one of favorites in Sin City.

Virgin Rooftop: located on the 9th floor of the Pattaya SeaView hotel. To be honest, this one gets mixed reviews on the food. Still, it's a viable option so we decided to list it.

The other side of Pattaya - Phra Tamnak, Jomtien and Na Jomtien.

The southern beach towns adjacent to Pattaya offer a different vibe from the circus of downtown. You will see more couples, families, retirees and affluent Thai families vacationing on this side of town. The restaurants are nicer, the beaches are nicer and there is more of a residential feel to the neighborhoods. That said, there are still plenty of beer bars, gentleman’s clubs and go-go bars to explore!

Pratumnak Hill Soi 5 is ofter referred to as the "Beverly Hills of Pattaya" and for good reason. This area of town is more upscale, cleaner and more gentrified than the rest of Pattaya. Only ten minutes from Central Pattaya yet it seems like it is a completely different town. Upscale cafes, restaurants and bars line Soi 5 with an oceanfront 7/11 resting at the foot of the street. Dinner at Dom's restaurant is highly recommended. The Sands Cafe at the foot of Soi 5 is a great place to watch a sunset. Bentley’s for a cold beer or stop in at Som Bar ( our local IMOL watering hole).

Just because this area is bit more upscale then Pattaya doesn't mean that there isn't adult entertainment. Four of the best gentleman's clubs in Pattaya call this area home - Kinnaree Place, Cat Flaps, The Passion and KitKat Club.. links on our Google Map List.

The stretch of beach between Jomtien and Phra Tamnak Hill is called Dongtan Beach. There is a small road that runs along the beach and connects the two neighborhoods. The beach is the nicest in the are and offers volleyball courts, public restrooms, water sports rentals and you can rent a chair with umbrella for 100 baht. There are vendors wandering up and down the beach ready to serve you cold beer all afternoon, not a bad way to spend a day.

BB House Hotel is located on Dongtan Beach and just around the corner from the Jomtien nightlife district. Hill Fresco or the Lewis Hotel are also nice places to spend the night if you're looking for accommodations in this area.

Na Jomtien has some of the nicest oceanfront restaurants in all of Pattaya. Well worth the twenty minute 160 baht Bolt/Taxi ride from downtown. The Cave, Bacco Beach Italian, View Mare and Alexa Beach Club will have your date impressed.

This is also a kite boarding and wind surfing destination with many rental shops and schools located along the beach - there is a good one next to View Mare.